Brian Belden wearily steered his car into the driveway of Crabapple Farm. When he finally turned the engine off, he sat there, staring unseeingly at his surroundings. He hadn't originally planned on coming home so late at night. But as he looked around his empty apartment, Brian realized he couldn't stand the thought of being alone. So, even though it was well past the time most rational people would be out on the road, Brian made a decidedly uncharacteristic move and decided to go home.

As he drove, Brian tried to sort out his conflicting emotions, and soon realized that what he really wanted was someone to talk to. Preferably, a certain honey-haired neighbor. Now enrolled in medical school, Brian found the demands of his new academic schedule to be far beyond what he had imagined. His trips home weren't nearly as often as he would have liked. Consequently, visits with family and friends had suffered. Kind of like my social life, mused Brian.

Well this isn't getting me anywhere. Brian pushed a drooping lock of hair out of his eyes, grabbed his bag, and got out of the car. As he walked toward the house, he glanced at his wristwatch. Whoa, 1:30 in the morning. I guess everyone will be asleep. I can sneak in…maybe even catch a few winks before the questioning begins. Seeing that the guest bedroom was unoccupied, Brian dropped his bag on the floor, took off his shoes and dropped on the bed. Within a few moments he was asleep.

The next morning, Brian awoke to the familiar smell of breakfast. He coaxed himself from the comfortable bed and grinned ruefully at himself upon discovering he had slept in his clothes. Hmm, won't do to show up at the breakfast table looking like this. Better get cleaned up, wouldn't want Moms to come unglued more than she already will. In his mind he could already hear her. "Brian, are you all right?"

After digging out some clean clothes, he made a quick dash to the bathroom. Fortunately, the old farm house was relatively quiet yet, and he made the trip successfully. A shower and a shave later, Brian was ready to face the world.

"Sorry to show up unannounced Moms," Brian said as he entered the kitchen. "After finishing my classes, I had this sudden urge for a good home cooked meal." Hope that puts her off a little.

Helen Belden spun around from the stove. "Brian! Oh, it's so good to see you!" Helen gave him a fierce hug and then automatically went into full Moms mode. She put her hand against Brian's forehead. "Are you sure everything's all right? You look a little tired."

Well, I was close. "No, nothing's wrong. Well, yes, I am tired, but I've been told that's a common condition in medical school."

As expected, the comment brought a grin to Helen's face. "So how is school going for you? We've seen so little of you lately."

"I know Moms, it's just that, well, with this being the first rotation and all, and I've heard that this class could really make you or break you, and …"

"You wanted to make sure you did a good job, didn't you?" Helen interrupted gently after listening to Brian stumble over his thoughts.

"Exactly. And last night it really hit me when I was sitting in the apartment. I'm doing it -- I'm finally starting what I've always wanted to do. But at the same time, I was, almost, I don't know…" Again, Brian stopped to ponder what to say next.

After a moment, Brian shook his head and started talking again. "Well, anyway, I decided to come home to do a little mental housekeeping. I figure I won't get many more chances like this in the future."

Moms gave Brian another hug. "Sweetie, you know you're always welcome to come home even if it's just to do some thinking. So why don't you sit down and eat some breakfast. Soul searching always goes better on a full stomach."

"Thanks Moms, that sounds great." After sitting at the table, Brian tried very hard to sound casual. "By the way, have you had any word on who else is supposed to be home this weekend?"

"Well, let's see. Mart doesn't come too often as you know, because his college is too far away, and Trixie has a special weekend class she signed up for. As for the rest of the Bob-Whites," Helen paused to shoot a sly glance at her son. "You are interested in the rest of them aren't you?"

"Of course I am! You know that Moms."

"Hmm, well then, Di is staying in the city because of her rehearsal schedule. Dan is at the academy still, and … what was it Trixie told me about Honey? Oh, that's right, I do believe she said Honey was going to be visiting her family this weekend. Said something about her leaving early in the morning, so she'd have more time at home."

Helen smirked inwardly as she watched Brian bolt through the rest of his breakfast. "Are you sure you wouldn't like a little more, dear?"

"No. Ah, this is fine. You know, I think I'll take a little walk. Do me good. Help clear out the cobwebs." Brian quickly stood up from the table, and almost tipped over the chair in his haste. "I'll see you later Moms. Thanks for the great breakfast."

Once Brian had cleared the door, Helen could restrain her laughter no more. Somehow I think Honey will do him more good than breakfast ever will.

Brian quickly hurried towards the Manor House. As he drew near, he spotted Honey coming out the door. Honey saw Brian at the same time.

Honey giggled as the two automatically headed toward the same path. "Wow, I guess the old saying about great minds think alike really is true."

Brian smiled and took her hand in his. "I'm really glad we both came home this weekend. I was feeling like I needed to talk to someone, and the only person who came to mind was you. I just wish we had more time to spend together, but …"

"But nothing," said Honey. "The important thing is, we're here, at the same time. So let's make the most of our time with no regrets for what can't be. You know that's what we already agreed on before you left for medical school."

Brian sighed. "That's true. I knew I could count on you to see what's important." Brian paused on the path for a moment. "Listen, do you mind if we just go somewhere where we can talk?"

"Of course not. Why don't we head over down to the lake. We can sit by the boat house if you like."

"Great, that sounds perfect."

The two walked in companionable silence the rest of the way. At the boat house they sat down facing each other and Honey took the opportunity to get a good look at Brian's face. "You look tired, Brian. Is medical school that hard on you?"

She never ceases to amaze me, right to the point like always. Brian gazed at Honey for a moment and then grinned. "Now you sound like Moms."

"I should hope so! Someone needs to keep you medical students in line! Seriously, Brian, I hope everything is going well for you."

"Oh, it is." Brian hurried to reassure Honey. "That's not what I wanted to talk about. I just wanted to be able to share something about my classes with someone. But, I didn't want to tell everybody. This isn't the sort of thing that you bring up in a casual conversation. But I know you and I care about you, and well, you're the only one I wanted to share this with."

"Oh Brian." Honey's beautiful hazel eyes misted with tears. "I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever told me!" She reached out to caress Brian's face. "Thank you."

At Honey's touch, Brian felt a calmness settle over him. This is what I really needed. Gently, he intertwined his hand with hers. "I'd like to tell you about my class and especially my last day in class."

"Go ahead, Brian," urged Honey.

"You know how I told you that my first class would be anatomy?"

Honey shuddered. "I could never do that class in a million years!"

"Trust me, a lot of my fellow students were feeling the same way the first day we went into the lab to meet our cadavers." Noticing Honey's look of discomfort, Brian hastened to add, "Don't worry, I won't tell you any details."

"Oh, did I look that bad just now?" Honey asked in a small voice.

"Just a little. It's okay. What I wanted to tell you about was what our teacher told us, it was, so, so … I can't even think of the right words to describe what I was thinking. Anyway, he called our cadaver a donor, and this is what he told us: 'Remember that donor is -- was -- someone's mom or dad, sister, brother, uncle, aunt… they decided to give you a gift, a privilege, to learn from them. And so use them wisely."

Honey eyes opened wide. "My gosh, he's right! I never thought of it like that."

"Neither did I. Or the rest of my class, judging from their reactions. I think we treated our cadavers with a lot more respect though, I know I did. I guess that's what our teacher was hoping for."

"Was it … was it hard … touching a dead body?" Honey asked shyly.

"It was, at first, but then after a while, it got easier. I just had to keep reminding myself that this is part of going to medical school." Brian realized how pompous he sounded just then. "OK, I will admit that at first I had to pretend it was a big plastic doll."

Honey looked at him with disbelief. "You didn't!"

"Honest and truly."

"Well! There goes my image of the Perfect Brian Belden. I'm not sure my shattered illusions will be able to recover!"

"Maybe this will help you feel better." Brian leaned over and gave Honey a soft kiss. "Did that help?"

"A little," Honey admitted. "Maybe we can pick that up again a little later?"

"Oh definitely," Brian agreed. "Most definitely."

"So, why was the last day of your class so special?" asked Honey.

"Because our entire class held a service in recognition of our donors."

"A service? What kind of service? You mean like a memorial?"

"Kind of. It was like a memorial and a thank you all at the same time. Honey, it was so profound! We read poems and letters that our donors had written before they died."

Kind hearted Honey was almost in tears. "You mean, some of them knew they were dying? Oh how sad."

"Yes, they did. But what they had to say was so moving. I felt so honored to have been trusted by someone who I will never be able to meet. That's why we held the service. Would you like to hear one of the letters?"

"Did you keep one?" asked Honey.

"I kept the program and I kept the poem I got to read. They asked some of students to read at the service. See, here's the program." Brian handed it to Honey.

"And this is what I was asked to read." Brian pulled out a note card and quietly began to read:

By the time Brian finished reading the last line, Honey was sobbing. "Brian, that was…was…so…beautiful. I'm so glad that you wanted to share that with me."

"Honey, I'll always want to share the important parts of my life with you. And share my thoughts and feelings. Being a part of this service made me realize how short life is." Brian gazed thoughtfully at their serene and beautiful surroundings. "I hope I'm able to face life as bravely as these people have."

"So do I Brian, so do I."

Author notes:

Brian's teacher was based on a quote found on NPR in an article dealing with first year med students at the University of Maryland.

The two pieces quoted above came from an actual service at Loma Linda University Medical Center. I read a newspaper article this week about their service and felt this was something that Brian would appreciate. Hence this story.

By the way: My persuasive speech in college was on the importance of organ donation, so this was a story that had to be written.